I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
