508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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