Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
two words: eviction party
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His hands were made for my vagina.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
