1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How naked do you want me to be?
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