Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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