I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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