you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
