Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
