he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize