i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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