Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
