I wanna bring you to show and tell
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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