he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
