I heard we made out
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
