I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
