worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
