i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
