Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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