i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
