capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
