M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
