Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
