i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
