road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
