Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
