you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
