Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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