do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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