so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
