I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
tell me about the eggs
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
