Got a toothbrush?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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