I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i out mim tonsoeep
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
