Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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