dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
