The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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