The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
