I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How's work?
Spinning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
