i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
