are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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