I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
