im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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