How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
