shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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