I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
