hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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