Got a toothbrush?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
