i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
