my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
