Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
