The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
