Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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