I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
