so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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