I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
