There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
