I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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