Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
