I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
