I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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