Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
