I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
