I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
