I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
