I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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