Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I've blown a few things in my day
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My dick has a subreddit
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
