Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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