how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
