I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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